


I Needed You To Leave To Fully Understand What You Really Mean To Me

by Shinhia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Birthday, Bisexual Character, F/F, Fluff and Angst, For Bastian, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romance, Smut, Songfic, m/m - Freeform, three shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 15:34:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4792895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinhia/pseuds/Shinhia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After everything that's happened in Beacon Hills, after being shot and dying, only to resurrect as a fully shifted wolf, Derek can't stay in the town anymore. Not when he feels he doesn't belong anymore. Not when home doesn't feel like home anymore and especially, Not when the person he loves is in love with someone else...someone of his own BLOOD!<br/>He's already packed and ready to leave when Stiles comes to his loft demanding an explanation...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Suitcase

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bastian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bastian/gifts).



> **This work is for you, A, I wanna wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY, enjoy you're reading. I'm sorry chapter two isn't here already, but the delay was too short and my inspiration lacking some days.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer: Neither the show nor characters belong to me, they are all property of MTV and Jeff Davis. Only original characters are MINE. Lyrics used are from  _Emeli Sandé's song “Suitcase”_. I suggest you open youtube or put on the song if you have it while you're reading, you'll be in the mood even more.**  
>   
> 
> **A, darling, don't worry the fluff/smut is coming quickly.**

* * *

 

**_[...Didn't see it coming. No kind of warning...]_ **

 

Stiles couldn't believe his ears, after everything that's happened, when Scott told him about Derek visiting him the previous night to say goodbye.

 

_Goodbye?_

_What?_

 

What did he mean, _goodbye_ ? Stiles thought. Derek couldn't be serious, right? And neither was Scott, right? It couldn't possibly mean what he thought they meant by _"goodbye"...right?_ This was probably some kind of bad joke they were trying to pull on him, he concluded and yet, since his talk with Scott, Stiles has been unable to shake the sickening feeling he’s been having in his stomach all day.

But what if... What if he was wrong and this wasn't a joke at all and Derek really meant goodbye. Was it real then? Was it true that Derek was about to leave town?  _Again!_ And only God knew for how long this time or even if he would ever really come back.

 

Going through school that day was torture and he couldn't be happier when he heard the bell ring so that he could rush off to the loft and maybe talk some sense into Derek's head or at least try to know why that grumpy Sourwolf was leaving town, and if he would he ever come back?

* * *

**_[...His clothes are missing...]_ **

 

When he arrived at the loft, the sight that met him as he burst into the place stopped him mid-step. _Gone_ were the books Derek used to keep around the loft and that Stiles had come to come to fall madly in love with. Because not only did they revealed a hidden part of Derek's personality only few knew about and that the man kept guarded so protectively, but they also gave the place a homier atmosphere as they brought a warmth the loft had been previously lacking. It wasn't the only thing Stiles noticed was missing though. There were other things that used to lay around the loft here and there that were now missing, significantly the leather jacket that used to hang from the chair by the big table facing the windows wasn't there anymore. Stiles felt his stomach clench at the sight and when his eyes finally caught the duffle bag by Derek's huge bed he knew that Scott had been dead serious about Derek leaving town.

 

"Stiles? What are yo..." He suddenly heard Derek's voice say from his left,

"So it's true then," Stiles exclaimed, cutting Derek mid-sentence, "you're really leaving.... _**again.** _ "

"I..."

"Were you planning on at least saying goodbye this time or were you just gonna disappear and pretend I'm not worthy enough for you to tell me yourself that you've decided to switch town?" Stiles spat angrily.

 

**_[...My baby's got a suitcase_ **

**_He's telling me it’s too late...]_ **

 

"Honestly," Derek started saying as he turned away, looking at Stiles was too tempting for him to decide he should just stay in Beacon Hills. But sadly, he just couldn't. Not when it meant having to suffer endlessly because the person he loved was with another, and even worse was the fact that this other person shared his blood. He inhaled shakily, "I don't think I would've." He admitted softly. There was no point in lying to Stiles, he preferred to be honest with the young man before having to say goodbye.

 

"What?" Stiles breathed, taken aback by Derek's admission. "After everything that's happened, after everything we've been through and after you..." He cut, unable to articulate any other words out loud, they just hurt too much and he was sure Derek could already smell that particular scent on him.

"Derek...please" He heard himself beg, lost and wondering why.

"I'm sorry, Stiles, but I made up my mind and I won't come back on my decision. I... I just need to leave." Derek said, moving around the couch. "I think you should leave now."

" _**No!** _ " Stiles exclaimed loudly, planting his feet on the ground and looking right into the man's eyes as he said, "I won't leave here until you explain to me why you're leaving all of a sudden? Has something happened?"

 

**_[...What changed so quickly?...]_ **

 

"Stiles..." Derek sighed, and at that moment Stiles couldn't remember ever hearing the older man sighing like he did, of ever seeing such a tired expression on his face. "Can't you just drop it, please?" He pleaded.

"Drop it? I'm sorry Derek but **no**." Stiles retorted, crossing the space that was keeping them apart and planting himself closer to the man, so close he could smell Derek's delicious smell of deodorant, leather, earth and trees and something more primal that was only Derek. Unable to fight himself he crossed the short distance keeping them apart and grabbed Derek's hand softly, needing to touch him one last time if the man was really gonna leave again.

"Please don't" Derek whispered, taking a step back, "you can't touch me like that, this is... Just don't, Stiles."

 

**_[...He said "Don't touch me”...]_ **

 

"Why? What's going on? I don't get it, why would you leave now after everything we've been through together, after you just fucking came back? I don't understand, Derek." Stiles mumbled, getting more upset as the seconds passed and Derek… Derek just kept being so out of reach and as cold as he once was back when Stiles and Scott thought he'd bitten Scott and killed Laura. It was a side of the man Stiles had been so sure would never resurface and yet, here they were, Derek being colder than ever.

 

"What changed?" Stiles asked.

"I did." Derek answered simply, "I'm the one that's changed completely...and I need an out now. I don't know, I guess... I guess I should've never have come back in the first place."

"I don't understand. What do you mean by needing an out? "Stiles whispered.

"I don't expect you to, I just need to leave this town and you need to live your life. After all, I'm not part of the pack, I never was, not really, it won't make a great difference if I'm gone."

"It'll make a massive difference to me." Stiles admitted, clinging to Derek's forearms. He didn't quite get why he needed to touch him so badly, or why he felt like his heart was shattering, piece by piece, painfully.

 

Maybe it was the way Stiles voice quivered or the combination of it and his smell that was so intoxicating, his heat, the scent of his pain and lack of understanding, or perhaps just the way his fingers gripped him that made it so much harder to control himself. Derek tried once again to break free and put more space between them but it was without counting on Stiles to just cling harder to him,

 

"No. You have to tell me why? You have to at least give me an explanation, Derek. Please."

"Explanation..." Derek snorted bitterly, before grabbing Stiles' face between his hands and kissing him the way he'd been desperately wanting to do for years now. He didn't give Stiles time to register or react to what was happening before he was breaking off the kiss and distancing himself from the young man.

"I think that's explanation enough." Derek said before grabbing his jacket from the other side of the couch and going to retrieve his bag by the bed, while Stiles just stood where he'd left him dumbfounded. Putting on his jacket, he went for his keys, took off the key to the loft from the key ring, placing it on the night stand rather loudly, the sound echoing through the loft and making Stiles turn his head in his direction.

"I'm leaving you the loft, I don't know if... I don’t think I'll need it anymore. Take care of yourself, Stiles. I really hope you'll be happy because you deserve it more than anyone I know. Take care of your dad too, as crazy as it might be I eventually came to like him." With those last words, Stiles watched as Derek opened the loft door one final time and disappeared, the huge metal door closing behind him leaving a loud echo in the now empty space.

 

"Derek? No...don't leave." he croaked, his voice strangled with emotions.

 

**_[...I can’t stop my heart leaving through the door...]_ **

 

 

Derek had to not only fight himself but also his inner wolf from turning round when he heard the anguish in those words, he had to force himself to descend the stairs and leave the building. He knew deep down this was for the best. Derek believed he had too much baggage in his life that he wouldn’t want to load on to Stiles and he thought this was the main reason everyone around him kept getting hurt. Furthermore, Stiles was younger than him and in love with someone else, someone his own age that would give him more than Derek ever could. He told himself over and over that he was doing the right thing and it didn't matter that he'd left his heart shattered in thousands of pieces in the same loft he'd left the love of his life.

 

**_[...I can’t unpack my heart 'cause he won't look at me anymore...]_**


	2. Cut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The lyrics are from HOPIUM's song "Cut".**

* * *

 

_**[LISTEN TO ME WHILE YOU'RE READING](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob-u6zT4jm0)  
** _

* * *

 

_**[...Everyone here is just a bad version of** _ _**YOU** _ _**  
Now I've got you close - I want you to** _ _**KNOW...]** _

 

Six months. It was the exact amount of time that'd passed since Derek made a surprised visit to Cora in South America.

 

Cora couldn't have been happier. It was unexpected that she and Derek had found each other after all this time, and as it turned out, the past months had revealed themselves to be what they'd both desperately needed for them to get to know each other again. But that was, of course, minus the fact that most of time Cora just couldn't take a pinning, _lovesick,_ miserable Derek depressing her and flooding their loft with the stench of his broken heart.

Don't get her wrong, Cora wasn't happy to see and know her brother was that miserable, even though like always he badly tried to hide it behind his grumpy, silent as a tomb, behavior, she could see clearly through that act and enough was enough, she'd reached her limit and decided it was fucking damn time she stepped in and work things out so her brother would start smiling again, not because he forced himself to but because he wanted to. It'd already lasted too damn long, and if Derek wasn't gonna do anything, she wasn't afraid to butt her nose where it had no business to go but she truthfully didn't give a damn anymore. That's why she found herself taking the road and miles later, was waiting silently for Stiles Stilinski to cross his bedroom door.

* * *

 

What a fucking day, Stiles reflected once he got home. School had been shitty, Scott was a prick all day and Malia.... Ugh, he didn't even wanna start on that one. The girl had been nothing but a living nightmare since he'd broken up with her months ago. The only thing he really yearned for, now, was a very hot shower and just crash afterwards to reload his batteries. What a sweet desire it was, he thought. But his fantasy clearly didn't involve suffering from a minor heart attack after crossing the threshold of his bedroom door.

 

“ _Oh my God,_ _**finally** ,_ Stilinski.” Cora exclaimed loudly just when Stiles passed the door. “ I've been rotting in the stench that is your bedroom for hours. _Jesus_ , I don't know how you can stand that smell."

“What the.... _**FUCK** _??? CORA?!” Stiles startled violently.

"Oh, he speaks." Cora mocked, deadpan.

"What the heck are you doing here, not that I'm not happy to see you're breathing and kicking but uhm... Why are you in my room?" Stiles asked the girl, holding his chest hoping to slow down his racing heart.

"Well, hello to you too, moron." Cora retorted. "Now, let's talk business. What the fuck did you do to my brother, and be careful what you answer cause you're face still makes me wanna punch you."

"Wow, still as aggressive I see. It's a relief to see some things just never change."

"I'll show you what aggressive is if you keep using that tone with me."

"Seriously, why did I even bother getting up this morning? This day keeps on sucking." Stiles whined to himself.

"I bet," Cora snorted, "I mean a werecoyote, really?” She asked wrinkling her nose. “You couldn't go for the amazing redhead you're thick as thieves with instead? That I would've understood, but my cousin....geez I still can’t fathom my evil uncle fathering an offspring. It's like getting pregnant with Satan's kid.”

"Um...you're point being?" Stiles asked, his headache increasing. He really wasn't in the mood nor had the patience to _**A,**_ defend Malia and _**B,**_ defend his particular choices when it came to the girlfriend field.

"My point is, Stiles," Cora retorted emphasizing his name in a perfect imitation of her brother, Stiles noticed, "that I get you falling for someone or just wanting to finally score yourself a girlfriend, but did it really have to be someone blood related to Derek. I mean, how fucking cold is that? Were you seriously so blind you never saw the massive crush he has for you. Why, I don't know, but Derek has always been weird when it came to falling for people."

Stiles didn't know what to say or how to react to Cora's words, which of course seemed to annoy the girl as she sighed soundly:

 

"Just go shower, Stilinski, you reek. We'll talk when you're brain is working."

And without adding anything else, she made herself comfortable on his bed and opened the book Stiles had left there the previous night. Sighing, he dropped his backpack and grabbed a worn out t-shirt and sweatpants from his closet before disappearing into the bathroom the moment Cora's phone started buzzing;

 

"This is Cora..." Stiles heard as he closed the door behind him. He didn't catch who she was talking to. A look at his face in the mirror told him he looked like crap and Cora had been right to send him to shower.

* * *

 

"No Derek, I won't tell you where I am." Cora exclaimed, rolling her eyes to her brother's answer. "I don't care. You'll thank me some day, now leave me be, bye."

With that she hung up, listening to Stiles getting out of the shower. Tempted and quite bored, she scrolled through her contacts and let her thumb land on a certain banshee's number. Smiling, she decided a little text wouldn't be such a bad idea and maybe she could take advantage of being in Beacon Hills to see Lydia.

* * *

 

"Okay, Hale, we can talk while I make supper now that I am human again." Stiles exclaimed when he came out of the bathroom. Now that he felt like himself again he wasn't gonna let the girl give him more shit than what she already did until then.

Shrugging in a _'whatever'_ way, Cora followed him downstairs and seated herself on one of chairs in the kitchen, she kept texting back and forth while Stiles started making supper.

 

"So..." Stiles started, "how's Derek after all this time?" He added, his stomach forming knots at the mention of the older man and just as quickly his brain and lips remembered what it had felt like to be kissed by the werewolf.

"I's funny you'd ask, I don't recall you ever texting to see how he's been doing these past months."

"I..."

"Yeah, yeah, save it. Girlfriends drama, I bet." Cora cut.

"Anyway, if you really wanna know how Derek is, or has been, well the answer ishe's been fucking _miserable_ ever since he left here. Which brings me here. Because as much as I love his grumpy ass I’ve reached my limit. So, either you call him or you follow me when I leave town and then the two of you can finally talk things through."

"I..." Stiles mumbled.

"Keep in mind I'm not leaving you much of a choice here, Stiles." Cora pointed. "I don't know what exactly happened between you and Der, but what I know is that something did happen as he wouldn't open up about it, and I also know that he didn't leave Beacon Hills because he felt like seeing the country, and even if he won't say it out loud I know he's fucking hurting, and hurting bad, he doesn't need to spell it, I can smell it, the scent is so strong our loft is drenched with the stench. Trust me when I say I wouldn't have come if this wasn't really important."

"If he's as miserable you say, why did he fucking leave just after he kissed me!" Stiles exclaimed loudly, putting the knife he was holding violently on the counter.

"You don't get it do you." Cora said, looking at him with something close to pity and that infuriated Stiles even more.

"What the hell am I supposed to get, huh?” He cried out. “That Derek took the easy way out and never gave me a damn explanation as to why he was leaving? What...did he think that kissing me would make it all suddenly clear? Well, news flash, it didn't. In fact, I'm even more confused than I was before. He had no right to kiss me like that and then just disappear." Stiles softly finished, his outburst having decrease the more he got out what was weighting on his chest since that damn night.

"If you think Derek took the easy way out then you get him even less then I thought you did." Cora simply said. Sighing, she shrugged out of her leather jacket and seated herself more comfortably, "Can I grab a bite with you? I'm starving and I feel like this is gonna be a very long conservation and I drove all night to get here."

Taken aback Stiles felt a bit ashamed he didn't even think of offering the girl anything to drink or eat like a good host should have. His mother had taught him to respect and be generous with his guests but it seemed the overwhelming day he'd had just hadn't help in him greeting Cora like he should've.

"Of course, what would like to drink with that?" He asked her, going back to making supper.

"You got any beer?" Cora answered, eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"I thought werewolves couldn't get wasted?"

"We can't but we do appreciate a cold one here and there, you know."

"Okay..." Stiles said before remembering, "Wait are you even allowed to drink alcohol?"

"I'm twenty so yes. In some states of our beautiful country and most European countries too I'm the legal age." She pointed in her familiar smart ass attitude. "So, can I have that beer or what?"

"Huh..." Stiles reflected, but a look at the girl's eyes told him to just shut it and grant her her wish, "yes, here, but if my dad comes back and catches you, you'll deal with me."

"Don't worry, your dad loves us Hale kids."

"Yeah, I wonder why?" Stiles snorted, which got him a deep growl from the brunette. "Just so you know, growling at me doesn't work anymore. Derek used to do it all the time before we got along, and my ex is a werecoyote so I'm mostly immune now."

"Oh, is she your ex now? That's so sad to learn, though I won't pretend I'm sorry when clearly I'm not. At all."

"That's so touching of you." Stiles said bitterly, dressing them each a plate.

"What can I say I'm a softy like that." Cora mocked, her face the contrary of compassionate.

"So..." She started saying again, "is you're break up fresh? Maybe that’s why you had such a bad day and look like you could use some much needed sleep. No offense but you really look horrible."

"I broke up with her three months ago, we just weren't on the same page."

"Oh that must have went so well." Cora snorted, taking a bite of her white chicken chili.

"Honestly, it was a nightmare. And it's been like that ever since. She just won't accept it and is pursuing me like crazy. She doesn't get that I'm just not looking to be someone's little spoon or fragile human. I need to feel like I'm equal to the person I love."

"And did you love her?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly?"

"I think that what you said earlier was so close to the truth it's why it angered me so much. Malia is nice and all, though a bit weird sometimes, but I just wasn't _in_ love. I think the fact of not being the _'never been kissed'_ kid anymore clouded my mind for a time, and it was more lust I felt for her than anything else, she never made my heart jumped and raced when we were together. Not like De..."

"Not like Derek!” Cora finished for Stiles.

“It's because Derek couldn't stand seeing you with her that he decided to leave. This was our home once, even after the fire, which is why he came back after driving me to a safe place in South America. Derek wanted to believe that Beacon Hills could still be home, outside of the other reasons tying him up to this town too. But no matter how much effort he poured into it, Beacon Hills still only managed to just feel like a prison at some point for him. And in total honesty, here Derek was never part of your pack. Maybe you didn't so much as the others kept him at a certain distance it's true, but it doesn't change the fact that he only got more shit from you all than anything else while he was here. It doesn't take too long for a werewolf to become an omega, trust me. I've been there, it's not a pretty feeling. I guess that's why he let that girl Braeden seduce him, he needed to feel like he, even slightly, mattered to someone, no matter if it was with a passing person. So that's why, Stiles...that's why he just couldn't stay here anymore and let himself be more than vulnerable by becoming an omega in a town that attracts anything and everything supernatural.”

“So he left and went for the only thing he knew would ease his pain and change his status. Me. He and I, even though it's just us now, we are pack, we understand the true meaning of being a pack, he's my alpha and I'm his beta. It's just how things are for us, no matter how much power he gave up to save me in the past, everything is changed now, Derek is changed. He's not the same anymore, he inherited something rare for our species."

 

Stiles listened closely to everything Cora was explaining, remembering at the same time that the only other time he heard the girl talk that much was when she told him about Derek's blue eyes.

 

"I know you saw him, not just at the church but later too, he told me how you're really the only one that really saw him up close when he shifts completely. You're the only person he would ever trust deeply enough to let his guard down and wolf out in front of knowing you could take advantage of that shifting moment to hurt him badly enough."

"I would never do that." Stiles pointed making Cora softly smile,

"Oh I know, you're the only one I fully trust here, except maybe Lydia. And no offense, but I wouldn't ever trust your werewolf Jesus to have my back, and that's saying a lot."

Stiles knew he should've felt bad for Scott after such comment but deep within he knew where the Hales came from and especially Cora, he totally got that she didn't trust Scott.

 

Cora fell silent a moment, eating her food silently, eyes glowing with deep reflection. Stiles took advantage of that moment to truly look at the girl. He couldn't really call her girl anymore, he noticed, as now Cora looks anything but like a girl, she was every bit a woman and it showed. Longer was her dark chocolate hair, thinner was her figure, her curves having lost that roundness adolescence had marked her with a few years ago. Now she exuded strength and strong confidence, her eyes shining with intelligence and calculation, maybe, as he had noticed how she'd quickly scanned everything surrounding her as if preparing herself for the closest exit should something ever happen.

 

"You know," Her voice sounded, tearing him abruptly from his examination, "Right now, with the way things are, Derek is something really close to the worst alpha, ever. He can't protect us both and provide for the pack when he's so fucking hollow, so I'm gonna ask you this once, and you should think of it long and hard before answering me. What are your true feelings and intentions regarding my brother, Stiles?"

Unsettled by the direct question, Stiles abandoned his plate, eyes crossing Cora's, her words ringing loudly in his ears as he found himself thrown six months earlier, just a few weeks after Derek's departure.

* * *

_**[...Maybe I wanna see what burns** _

_**Maybe I wanna see what breaks  
Maybe I need to ** _ _**LEARN** _ **  
From my own mistakes!!  
And if you forgive ** _**ME** _ _**don't forgive me just yet,  
** _ **TEACH ME A LESSON** **  
I'll never forget...]**

 

_He still couldn't believe Derek was gone. Still couldn't accept the gap_ _left by_ _the man's absence in his life._ _Weeks had passed and h_ _e could still feel the kiss Derek gave him._ _So vibrant, so vivid_ _._ _It'_ _d been the kind_ _of kiss_ _that shakes you to the core_ _. S_ _omething he'd never experienced before, not with Heather, not with Lydia or Caitlin and certainly not with Malia he'd came to realized, though a bit sadly as, no matter their ups and down_ _s_ _, he was still dating the girl and_ _deeply_ _cared for her. But as he quickly understood, caring for someone wasn't always enough and in this case his affection for the girl really wasn't, not after that life shattering experience. Not after tasting with the tip of his lips what_ _**more** _ _could be. That's why he'd decided it was better for the both of them if_ _they_ _ended things_ _._

_Breaking up with someone wasn't something easy_ _though_ _, on both parts, and Stiles had needed time to recover from the failure of his romantic life when he knew he was responsible for its downfall. He never_ _hid_ _caring_ _deeply_ _for Derek,_ _never feared defending him or showing his worry when it came to the man,_ _but maybe it was because he was too afraid to admit it or even recognize what his true feelings_ _really_ _were_ _that he preferred lying to himself instead of_ _really do the work on himself and spell out loud that_ _what_ _he felt for Derek_ _was_ _more than friends car_ _ing_ _for each other. Yeah, that'd taken a good amount of time for him to get there, while he ha_ _d to_ _pick himself up from a bad breakup at the same time._

 

_It was mostly with the support and_ _constant_ _advice of his father and Lydia that Stiles was able to_ _keep_ _on living normally again, well as normally as your life could be when you lived in a town like Beacon Hills._

_Lydia had_ _gently_ _force_ _d_ _him to confide in her about the kiss_ _. Took the time it'd needed to talk to him and made him understand_ _what_ _he should really think_ _about confronting Derek about what he'd felt that night, about what he was feeling now months after Derek's departure. The girl had also been of a very good_ _friend_ _in taming the fire his break up with Malia caused. Never, not even in his worst nightmare, did Stiles imagine Malia would be so vicious and angry for being dumped. But maybe it was to be expected, Stiles knew how unstable the werecoyote girl could be sometimes. Clearing his doubts, realizing what was there the_ _entire_ _time and coming to terms with a part of himself he'd prefer to ignore because he_ _'d been_ _so desperate to fit in and have a girlfriend just like the other boys his age. All of those things were possible thanks to Lydia and Stiles could never be thankful enough that she'd opened his eyes._

_Then after those weeks of inner turmoil and self reflecting, Stiles had finally been able to confront his dad and have_ _**The Talk** _ _with him, the sheriff listening to him cautiously and not dismissing him like he'd done a few years back after the gay club debacle._ _It'd been such a relief_ _to have his dad accept him or more like remind him that no matter what Stiles could be, whether it was gay, bisexual or straight it didn't change anything at all because John was still proud of him and still loved him unconditionally. And the fact his dad clarified he always had suspicions about him and Derek was both a relief and a worry for Stiles, because it told him that if even his dad had been aware of the man's feelings for his son and of his son's denial, then Stiles must really have been blind and fucked up at some point_ _to miss something so obvious to others_ _. All those revelations forc_ _ed_ _Stiles admit_ _to_ _his dad that Derek had left town because of him,_ _that without going into details something huge had happened between them that night_ _and Stiles was still profoundly confused_ _because of it_ _._

 

_"It's completely normal for you to be, son. It's what happens when someone you love surprises you like that, forcing you to take your head out of your butt and face reality for what it really is."_

 

_He'd_ _taken_ _time; A, somewhat, long time to come to terms with everything, including his anger towards Derek for putting him in this position_ _and then_ _just fucking_ _disappearing_ _off into thin air._

* * *

 

"I know it took an endless amount of time," Stiles told Cora, "but I've made peace with myself and my....feelings for him. But I don't know if he'll ever wanna see me, Cora."

"Oh trust me he does." The Cora pointed, smiling wickedly, "he just doesn't know that yet."

Stiles tried to harness the flicker of hope he felt growing in his chest because of her comment. She seemed so confident, so completely sure Derek would be willing to face him again. And truth was, despite the fact he was scared shitless, Stiles had often thought of calling the man. Many were the times he'd forced himself to ignore what his heart really wished for, but now... Now he was barely able to think straight and tame the giddy part of himself that just couldn't believe that after all this time Derek was yearning for him like Stiles yearned for the man himself.

 

"When it comes to love, it's different for a werewolf than a human, I know you know that, Stiles." Cora started explaining, her gaze somewhat far away but her aura still so present in the room. "Our senses are so heightened, so ruling, that feeling strong emotions like love is a completely different matter for us. What you don't know, though, is how for us, the Hales, love, family, the sense of home and being with your pack has always been the most important things. We didn't have that many strict rules like most pack have except that very important one. Always protect and accept the most important, the rest is obsolete. Respect, care, love and protect. That was our motto, but Derek was..." She said, searching what would be the best words to describe her brother to Stiles like she always knew him to be.

"Derek was always different, he took things way more seriously and deeply and I can remember clearly every time our mom would spend hours with him in his room listening and reassuring him when he got worked up about something. I remember how it always took so long to just have him open up, because no matter his cocky, smart ass behavior as a teenager, deep within Derek was always that profound, shy and secretive person about his emotions. And when he first fell in love he was just so far gone and involved in that love that when he had to kill his girlfriend because there was nothing else he could do to ease her pain or save her anymore that he had no other choice. That broke him like you could never imagine, Stiles. After that he became so guarded, so silent about his feelings. Always alert and on the lookout in case anything would ever happened to the pack. Then came Kate Argent. She was smart and cunning and took advantage of him in the worst possible way. You know that, just like what happened as a result to her toying with my brother. Of course I wasn't around to witness it, but I know that somehow Derek let you in when he wouldn't allow anyone else. He _chose_ to let you in and trust you with his life like he wouldn't another and one thing leading to the other, I'm not surprised he fell so hard for you. You're so much his type that it's sometimes very unsettling for me." Cora told him, her gaze now fixed on him.

"My point with all this is, you can have doubts, it's totally normal and such a human reflex, but I don't have any, Stiles. _Why?_ Because I never saw Derek that broken after losing most of the women he truly loved. Leaving here, leaving you behind when the wolf part of him was certainly howling and clawing at him not to, was probably the hardest thing he had to do, so you can trust me when I say he's still in love with you. He's keeping his distance, respecting you, your choices and life out of pure love only, no matter how much it's killing him inside. It's not something I usually say out loud, but, I love my brother, Stiles, he's the only one I have left, but I just can't see him hurting like he is right now, he's beyond miserable."

 

"I miss him." Stiles blurted in a whisper. "I miss him so bad some days I get this fear it's a feeling that will never disappear. That feeling of hollowness."

"You two are such a fucking mess." Cora sighed.

 

The entrance door suddenly slammed before Stiles could retort anything.

 

"Stiles?" They heard the sheriff’s voice call before he came into the kitchen. "Who's car is it in the... Oh, _Cora!_ What a surprise."

"Hello, Sheriff Stilinski." The girl greeted.

"What brings you here?" John asked, looking happy to see the girl.

"I came to kidnap your son, sir."

"To go see Derek?" John asked, looking hopeful.

Cora nodded and Stiles protested when he heard his dad exclaim:

"Oh my god, thank you. If you leave now you'll be in New York by tomorrow I think."

"Wait." Stiles cut. "What do you mean New York? How do you know that dad?"

"Because, unlike a certain son of mine, I had the balls to call Derek and ask him his whereabouts."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have listened?" John asked seriously. Stiles blushed knowing he probably wouldn't have.

"Anyway," John added, "it's not a thing I would cover normally but you and him really need to sort things out, son. So I suggest you pack before having a good night sleep and leave with Cora for New York tomorrow. You can sleep in the guest room, Cora."

"Thank you, sir."

"John."

"Thank you, John."

"Okay, kids, I'll go shower and change before going back to the station."

"I made white chicken chili; I'll fix you a plate for when you come down." Stiles told.

"Thanks son." John answered before going upstairs.

 

Cora turned back toward Stiles:

 

"I've always loved your dad. When I was little I always thought he was a hero or something."

Her phone buzzed loudly on the table and after a quick look at the incoming text she told him,

"Lydia's not doing anything tonight; she'll be here in thirty minutes."

"I am **NOT** watching _'The Notebook'_ again" Stiles cried out making Cora laugh.

"No, don't worry we'll be too busy catching up for her to even think about that chick flick.

"Good."

"So, now that the obvious has been talked through, tell me, what did I miss in good old Beacon Hills?"

Stiles groaned, "Too much, let's go sit in the couch, Lydia will let herself in."

 


	3. The Night

* * *

**_[YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edhAx-p0qKY) _ **

 

* * *

 

****_[...Spend_ _the night_ _and I will make it worth your while_  
let's built a life that we can both live out in style  
Come into the light, don't you think to run a mile  
If you spend _the night_ _with me,_   
**I will make it worth your while...]**

 

His stomach was in knots, his palms sweaty and his heart beat so loudly it felt like everyone in the elevator could hear it. Everyone meaning Cora and Lydia, who'd decided to tag along once she learned Stiles was driving to New York with Cora. He still couldn't quite realize that in a few minutes he would be face to face with Derek. His mind was running slow and wouldn't grasp that huge detail until he felt the elevator jump to a stop and then Cora was pushing open its railings.

 

"Oh shit," Stiles heard his mouth babble on its own, "There we are. _Shiit_ , I really don't feel this, guys. You absolutely certain he's here?" He finally asked Cora, secretly hoping the girl would say no so his heart would stop dancing mambo in his chest.

"Steady heartbeat in the kitchen. I'm positive he's here." Cora told him with the most annoyed voice. "Now move your butt out of this elevator and stop being such a pansy. Geez, guys are fucking drama queens." She added in a sigh.

Lydia seemed to find that remark funny because Stiles heard her chuckled softly in his back. He turned around to give her a dirty look, which she seemed to find even funnier because a small laugh escaped her throat, as she tapped his shoulder gently. That's when the door in front of them suddenly opened, Derek standing in its way, a disbelieving look on his handsome face:

 

"Stiles?"

"Hi." Stiles heard himself greet...poorly.

"Weeell, great to see you're still alive, bro. We're just dropping off Lyds things." Cora exclaimed, looking way too pleased for her own good. "Don't you two bitches do something I wouldn't do and don't forget to use protection and a lot of lube, no one would wanna get pregnant or hurt. 'Kay, bye."

Stiles, still standing a step out of the elevator watched the two girls enter and leave the apartment, get back in the elevator and disappear a moment later. He wanted to tell them not to go and stay with him but he just couldn't fucking speak, he was just too busy taking all of Derek in. God, he thought, heart swelling dangerously, he's even more hot than what I remember even if it looks like he lost some weight.

 

"We'll be more comfortable inside than standing in the hallway don't you think." Stiles heard Derek say, the man cutting the train of his thoughts.

"Huh?" Was all Stiles could muttered. He found it extremely hard to focus when he just noticed Derek's hair was longer than he'd ever saw the man wear it and it was also wet which indicated that the man had just gotten out of the shower. And those droplets slowing running down that neck... _**Oh my god!** _

"Come in, Stiles." Derek said again, a small smirk at the corner of his lips.

 

_Bastard_ , Stiles told himself, he's totally aware of the effect he has on me. Keeping silent, which was probably a better choice than speaking when the two times he did he made quite a poor job at it, Stiles followed Derek inside the loft. Unconsciously, he heard his breath hitch in his throat expecting to meet the same interior or something close to Derek's loft back in Beacon Hills. It's to speak lightly when you say Stiles was more than surprised to discover a very bright, very cozy and furnished loft. A huge platform on the left, accessible by a few stairs, creating a second story to the loft, a huge glass wall enclosing what seemed like to be a bedroom, the same glass wall kept running under the platform separating a second bedroom, which by the look of it probably was Cora's.

 

"This place is..." Stiles started to say,

"Different?" He heard Derek exclaim softly next to him, turning his head Stiles met a set of amazing hazel eyes and answered:

"Yes. Different." Derek nodded.

"So, not that I'm not happy to see you but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be chasing villains with Scott and your girlfriend in Beacon Hills instead?"

"She's not my girlfriend." Stiles heard himself spat. "We broke up months ago. And to answer you I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be because you and I seriously need to talk."

"Okay. Do you want some coffee then?" Derek asked gently, surprising Stiles with his so chill behavior. Something Stiles really wasn't at that instant.

"No, thanks. I already drank too much of the shit on our way here." Stiles explained, fidgeting with his hands like he was so used to do when he felt nervous or under stress. Derek seemed to notice the action because he put his hand on Stiles' calmly;

"Stop." Derek whispered, looking deep into Stiles' whiskey colored eyes. "You don't have be nervous."

"Yeah, right!" Stiles snorted weakly.

"Stiles..."

"I'm nervous as fuck, alright. Of course I would be nervous, Derek. I haven't seen you in months, never heard a thing from you after you left Beacon Hills, giving me that mind blowing kiss and no fucking explanation. So, pardon me if I'm _**nervous** _."

"Are we really gonna fight?" Derek asked.

"How can you be so chill, man?" Stiles exclaimed, angered all of a sudden.

"Because I know everything's gonna be fine, now."

"What makes you say that? That's stupid, you're not fucking psychic."

"Well, you're here aren't you and you think me kissing you was mind blowing. This and you driving all the way here after Cora probably forced you proves to me that you actually care more than I thought you did."

"I don't care, in fact I fucking hate you, Hale. You can't fuck up my life by twisting my brain and then just vanish into the night."

"Stiles"

"I'm not done!!!" Stiles exclaimed. "Why would you do something like that, huh? I am so fucking pissed at you, you have no idea. Fuck. No one kisses someone like that and then disappear without a word. _NO ONE_! You hurt me, Derek. In a way I never thought you of all people would, and this isn't okay. I am not okay. And the worst thing is I don't really hate you, no, I'm more pissed at myself for being so blind and do you have any idea how hard it's been since then. How fucking much I've missed you? No, no you have no idea because you never called or anything. And trust me, I get where you've been, who you are and how life shaped you but me... How could you act like this with me?"

"Stiles, I..."

"Shut up. Honestly, I don't even know if I wanna punch you or shoot you, especially when both will result in me getting hurt. Fuck! And I..."

Stiles rant was cut off there by a warm pair of lips. Groaning the younger man, threw his arms around Derek, clinging to him so he wouldn't leave after kissing him this time.

 

"I hate you," Stiles whispered when the kiss ended, blinking a few times.

"I know." Derek whispered back, his arms tightening around the young man's waist.

"I shouldn't even forgive you for the past few months and that asshole move."

"I know." Derek said again, his right hand on Stiles' cheek, thumb caressing the sharp cheekbone underneath it ever so gently.

"Derek..?" Stiles croaked, unsure of what to say or do next. Unsure that the moment they were having was real. Unsure his heart wasn't about to explode. He was only sure of the feelings shaking his heart as he lost himself into the man's eyes in front of him.

"God, I've missed you." Derek growled, bringing Stiles' body closer to his. Then, he took hold of Stiles' thighs, lifting him so the young man would wrap his legs around his waist and finally made his way up the stairs to his bedroom slowly, never breaking off their kiss.

 

"I swear to god," Stiles moaned into Derek's mouth, "this better be real."

"Oh trust me, it is." Derek groaned, covering Stiles' body with his own on the King size bed. "It's very much real, baby."

"Shit..." Stiles softly said clearly turned on by Derek's nickname for him.

His hands roamed all over Derek's back, arms, thighs and over the swell of the man's perfect round bottom, to finally come up higher, his fingers kneading in Derek's hair. Thinking they were already becoming a massive kink.

"God, this is so hot." Stiles moaned, hips grinding in rhythm with Derek's. "This feels so good, but you're wearing way too many clothes." He whispered, throat heavy with desire and want. His fingers clenching and unclenching into Derek's dark locks.

"Stiles..." Derek growled deeply, his senses in a turmoil as his nostrils, taste buds and fingers couldn't get enough of Stiles' scent, flavor and feel. He felt overwhelmed as it was too much too quickly all at once which was making his wolf go stir crazy with the need, strong and burning, of claiming what he recognized as his.

"We..." Derek panted, "we need to slow down. We need to talk."

Something close to a loud rumble escaped Stiles' throat after hearing these words.

 

“Talk? No we can't fucking talk now, Derek.” Shifting his hips under Derek's, he moved swiftly so that he was now riding the older man's hips. He grabbed the hem of the muscle tee Derek was wearing and started pulling it up slowly,

“Six months. Six fucking months. Do you realize how long and how hard it's been? How many times I wanted to call you but chickened out at the last moment because I wasn't sure you'd ever wanna hear or talk to me. How many times did I wish I could just run to the loft and see you after some major shit happened and I just needed the only person I knew would understand and support me. The only person who would tell me to get my shit together and just fucking man up. The only person who understands it's okay to be human too. So, no I don't wanna fucking slow down and talk. Not when what I've been craving you for months now, not after you freed the side of me I was too afraid to let be. Now that I'm here, that I finally have you, you can't fucking ask me to wait any longer, Derek.”

All through his speech, Stiles work slowly at taking off Derek's top, then untie the strings holding -low on his hips- the man's sweatpants. His fingers shaking so much during the process he had to try unfolding the knot a few times until he felt Derek's hands cover his fingers and the next moment he was back on his back, the older man lying between his thighs.

"Are you sure this is what you really want?" Derek asked softly, worry shining in his hazel eyes. "I can't go there with you if you regret it after we did it." He admitted, conscious he was baring his heart for Stiles to see and how dangerous doing so could be but that was the thing with Stiles, he could never just stay guarded and entrenched behind protective walls. The younger man had always made him feel bare.

“I won't.” Stiles said softly, caressing Derek's hair with so much tenderness the older man felt his heart swell to the point of almost hurting. “I won't regret any of it. I can't. Not with you.”

 

Derek kept silent a moment, something that felt endless to Stiles but he could understand where Derek was coming from, what it meant for the man to trust him in that way. Especially when the only times he trust someone so intimately before he'd always ended up hurt afterwards. So Stiles got that Derek probably needed a few minutes to think things through before letting himself give into his feelings and desire.

 

Silence not being Stiles friends, though, he heard himself babbled nervously when he should have kept his mouth shut instead, maybe.

 

"You know, not that I want you to remember her but when your Jennifer was killing those virgins, I was so scared to be one of them too as I was still...you know, a virgin back then and I told Scott I needed someone to sex me right now and shit and Danny mocked me by saying he would volunteer but that I should expect to spend the night because he liked to cuddle, I found it so sweet of him at first until I understood he was joking with me. Anyway, what I wanna say is that...that night I just couldn't sleep and I found myself driving over to your place with the crazy idea of just asking you to have sex with me, that even if you hated me maybe you would, I don't know, maybe you would be okay to take my virginity, which would have saved my life in the process. And then I found myself, down your building, sitting in my Jeep and realizing what I was about to ask you and how crazy it was even to me. So, I drove back to my place instead of making a fool of myself in front of you one more time. What I never told Scott, was that deep down you were the first person I thought about asking, that I always found you so hot and I don't know, there was just this thing I felt in me from that very first time in the woods and it never left me, I tried hiding it. From you, especially you, from Scott, Lydia and Erica, from everyone really. But most importantly it's from myself I tried hiding I wanted you so much, that I was so attracted to you I would often wake up at night with a ragging hard on just because I couldn't stop dreaming about you. So, my point is being with you, being intimate with you is something I'll never regret, Derek. Because the truth is I've wanted you for a very long time and I can barely believe you want me too."

"You've been driving me crazy since you trespassed on our property with Scott. You were just so..."

"Annoying?"

"No. Just so present. You were just so real I couldn't pretend I hadn't noticed you, but you were still so young back then."

"We wasted too much time, Derek." Stiles whispered, grabbing Derek's head between his hand and drawing the man closer to his mouth so he could kiss him slowly, their tongues tangling and untangling lasciviously.

"The question is do you want me? Do you want us?" Stiles asked against the older man's lips.

"I've never wanted someone as strongly as I want you, Stiles." Derek answered, taking off Stiles' flannel shirt, followed by the printed t-shirt he wore underneath. He heard Stiles' intake of breath when their skin came in contact, both pressed against each other from chest to groin.

"Derek... Oh my god, this is surreal." Stiles panted against Derek's lips. "You're so warm..."

"I can't believe you're in my arms right now." Derek panted back, quickly undoing Stiles belt and pants, before sliding them down with his boxer briefs.

 

When he sat back on his knees, Derek took his time to let his eyes roam over Stiles' naked body, hungrily. _Damn_ he was breathtaking. All lean muscles and member s , skin dotted with moles everywhere and just the right amount of hair. Derek told himself that long gone was the skinny kid from a few years back as now it was a man lying naked in front of him. And ,  _what man!_ He heard his inner voice breath out heavily.

 

"God, you're beautiful." Derek blurted, his eyes catching on Stiles' long, uncut shaft. He felt his mouth watering when the image of him bending down to suck on that beautiful cock blurred his vision. Leaving his hands wander up slowly along Stiles' long legs to his hips, Derek licked his lips, eyes flashing blue a second.

"Derek," he heard Stiles moan when he grabbed his cock in his right hand, letting his tongue dart out of his mouth to lick the head slowly. His eyes never left Stiles' as he did it a few more times, gently pumping him at the same time and when finally he opened his mouth wider to take in the head, Stiles cried out:

 

"Uhnnn.. _.FUCK!_ Derek!"

 

Enjoying himself like never before, Derek watched through hooded lids how Stiles started fisting the pillow in an attempt to stay connected to the moment when his body was floating away with the pleasure of having his cock blown by the man he loved and whose scent was surrounding him so strongly.

"Ooh, Der...aah, shit..." Stiles whimpered as Derek started bobbing his head on his cock more quickly, taking all of his length deep into his mouth and throat. He felt his thighs start to shake around Derek's head, he felt so overwhelmed and when one of Derek's fingers enter his mouth while he was still sucking him and slipped out of his mouth to find its way into his ass crack next, Stiles thought he was about to explode. "Fuck! Der, I-I'm...go-gonna cum if you keep that up."

Stiles felt Derek growled loudly around his cock, this drove him crazier and when he felt Derek finger slowly enter his asshole, it was more he could take and was soon spurting cum into Derek's mouth, the man taking everything in, swallowing every drop of semen hungrily. Derek licked his cock clean when Stiles finally stopped spurting.

"Holy shit, you literally sucked the life out of me." Derek seemed pleased by how spent Stiles looked on his dark sheets. His wolf going nuts inside him with the need to claim and mark _**his** _ beautiful lover.

"I love watching you cum." Derek told Stiles, moving back up to lie on the young man, his finger still going in and out of his virgin channel.

"Hmmm..." Stiles moaned, kissing Derek's mouth then creating a trail of kisses along his cheek, jaw and neck to finally land in the gap between his collar bones, when he let his tongue wander a moment, tasting Derek's, ridiculously, soft skin. "You taste wonderful. But you're wearing too many clothes in my opinion." He added, his hands disappearing slowly under the band of Derek's sweatpants to caress then cup his cheeks.

"Fuck, it's even hotter to know you're full commando under those pants." Stiles groaned, clenching the muscular globes gently. Working swiftly, he made the sweatpants disappear as Derek was back to invading his mouth with his delicious tongue. Their hard-ons rubbing against each other now fully in contact.

“Oh baby, you feel so good.” Derek growled, having a hard time keeping his wolf instinct at bay with Stoles in his arms. “I want you so bad.”

 

His heart beat madly in his chest, like thunder hitting Stiles' chest underneath his. His left hand clenching the pillow case next to Stiles' head, claws piercing the satin fabric. Stiles seemed to notice:

 

“You don't have to hold back with me, Derek. I'm not them, I love every part of you even the wolf one.” Derek met the whiskey eyes and couldn't help but cup Stiles' head in his hands, hiding his face in the crook between the young man's neck and shoulder.

"Stiles," he whimpered, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." Stiles answered, "I know you won't. I know you'll be careful. And I know you know I'm still a virgin in that way."

Derek swallowed, "I'll be gentle."

"I know," Stiles said, "I know you won't ever hurt me." He added softly.

 

Derek looked at Stiles a moment, frowning, his lover had seemed in heaven a minute ago but now it was like a cloud was weighting on him.

 

"But?" He asked him gently. "What is it you're afraid of, baby?"

"I-I just...."

He was still a bit shaken by the orgasm he just had, and so Stiles found it to be a bit more difficult than usual to find the right words and explain everything he was feeling at that moment. He was still so confused, and hurt and angry and yet so happy to finally be with Derek. Everything was just so unsettling. Everything was just happening so fast and what certitudes did they have? What certitudes did he have he wouldn't end up hurt once again?

"I get why you left, Derek. I do and I can't imagine what you must have felt like, how hurt you were that you thought leaving was the only option for you. I get all that and I don't pretend I can't put myself in your shoes because there's a lot someone like could never feel or understand the way you feel and react to things. What I understand is that..." Taking a small breath, Stiles tried to calm his racing heart.

"You _**kissed** _ me, Derek. You kissed me and then you were gone and I didn't know where you were, what you were doing or even if you were alright. I knew nothing. All I know is how hurt and confused I felt, how regretful I felt when I finally figured out what it was _**I** _ was feeling. You didn't even give me a chance. So..." Stiles sat up against the pillows, bringing his knees closer to his chest to hide some of his nudity. He felt so vulnerable in that moment.

"How can I be sure you won't leave me again this time, Derek?" He finally whispered looking down at the dark red comforter as it was easier than having to bear Derek's gaze.

 

Silence met him at first, which made his heart clench in his chest, then he felt the mattress move a bit and sink a bit deeper when Derek sat in front of him, his feet parted on each side of Stiles hips.

 

"Stiles, look at me please." Derek asked gently, a tone Stiles couldn't ever recall Derek using with him. Going against the scared little voice telling him otherwise, Stiles lifted his eyes to meet Derek's,

"I love you." Derek admitted simply. "I've been in love with you for so long. I tried fighting it, tried making the feelings go away, the more I was with you, the more I got to know you, the more my feelings grew. I was just so afraid of you finding out because you were still so young and after what I've been through with... I just couldn't do that to you. I thought what I felt was wrong, I thought I was no better than her and, I don't know, maybe that's why it was easier for Jennifer to get to me or to just go with the flow with Braeden. But no matter how hard I tried, how much effort I put into it, my feelings never disappeared, they grew stronger and stronger and then Malia happened. All of a sudden you were dating her and looking so happy to finally have a girlfriend and you seemed to care so much for her. I was so jealous. So jealous she got to be with you the way I craved to be yours. And without even noticing you changed."

"What do you mean I changed? How?" Stiles asked taken aback.

"The way you threw yourself in that relationship, the way you behaved around her, suddenly it was like you were a completely different person. I felt you pulling away before my brain could even register how distant you suddenly were. That hurt more than anything. I was conscious I could never be with you, I could never have you the way I wanted to, I had come to make peace with that but I still thought somehow we would still be there for each other no matter what. I would still be the person you would turn to for help. But sadly, it wasn't the case anymore. Your pack was sealed, and I was never a part of that. I felt alone and weak, I felt invisible to you so the need to leave Beacon Hills slowly started to grow within me. Then I was shot and the way you looked at me, like you didn't really know if you should stay or not, I knew it would always be that way between us if I ever survived. That's why I told you to go to Scott, he was your pack, she was your pack and I was just Derek Hale someone you used to know. So, after coming back as a wolf and understanding what I was now I took the hardest decision. It would be better to leave and start at new, than to stay to be no more than an omega and be miserable because the person I loved just wasn't for me. I heard you call after me, the way you sounded, how much pain vibrate in your voice. God, it took me so much strength to just keep on moving and leave you behind. I was so sure I was finally doing the right thing, Stiles. I just never thought, never even dream, you would come here and admit you felt the same about me."

"You've always sacrificed yourself, Derek. Always put everyone else first, even when it didn't seem like it, I always understood you, what you were trying to do. This is something so deeply carved into you, into your personality. I'm sorry we took you for granted. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you even more." Stiles said, caressing Derek's cheeks, enjoying the feeling -so new to him- of his stubble under his fingertips.

"I know my heart broke when you closed that door behind you. I know I felt lost without you and I know the gap you left in my life. I know you have a life here now, I know what it means for you to be with Cora again just as much as it means for her to have you back in her life. I'm not asking you to come back to Beacon Hills, I know you were unhappy there. All I'm asking is if you're sure about this. Sure about _us._ I need you to be sure because I can’t ever go back after this. I can't have you and lose you again, Derek, I won't survive it."

"You don't have to be afraid. I'm sure this is what I want. I'm sure you are what I want. I've never been more sure about anything or anyone else in my life before. I know we'll make it work, I just don't want to be without you ever again, baby."

"Okay, alright. Okay." Stiles whispered smiling, placing soft little kisses over Derek's lips tenderly. "Then make love to me." He softly said in Derek's ear. The older man didn't need to be told twice, he laid them both down on the mattress and kissed Stiles with hunger and love.

“I love you.” He said again his eyes into Stiles'.

“I love you too.” Stiles admitted softly, his heart beating so loud he knew Derek couldn't have missed it, the man being able to tell Stiles wasn't lying.

* * *

 

"So, what do you think they're doing by now? Fighting like always?" Lydia asked Cora around her skinny caramel macchiato.

"They're most certainly doing each other by now." Cora answered matter of factly, which made Lydia laughed loudly. Muffling a grown, Cora couldn't help but notice how even more beautiful and sexy the girl had become. Lydia caught her staring and whispered, so that Cora would be the only one to hear her.

"What about you take me to somewhere more quiet and show me werewolf stamina."

* * *

 

Derek was buried deep inside him, Stiles had already come twice without Derek having to touch his cock but his lover still didn't show sign of being about to come yet, the more they made love, the more Derek thrusted inside him, the harder and bigger Derek got, stretching Stiles deliciously. The room was spinning and the bed kept swaying because the pleasure was driving him nuts. His head light and heart about to burst in millions of pieces;

 

"Oh god, _Derek!!!_ " He heard himself moaned brokenly, when Derek's cock started to swell deep inside him, "I-I can't...too much, gonna come again...aaah fuck."

"Stiles....Stiles..." Derek kept whispering, shaking above his lover, his claws tearing apart another pillow. "Baby I need to come. Please, let me come. Let me knot you. Please, please." Derek pleaded, making those little whining sounds in the back of his throat which drove Stiles crazy. Tightening his thighs around Derek's waist, he took hold of the man's hair pulling on them.

"Make me come. I need to come." He begged, "do it, Der. Do it. Knot me. Please, please I need it. I need you to come with me."

It didn't took more than those words to drive Derek over the edge and he swelled unbelievably bigger inside Stiles' virgin asshole, knotting him deep and long, his cum never stopping to fill the younger man who came yet another time and more violently than the three times before.

"Mine!" Stiles heard Derek whine, as the man was still spurting cum inside him. Shaking, he held him tighter against his chest and whispered lovingly,

"Yes, I'm yours."


End file.
